1. My name is Jenny. That is me. On the left.
2. That dog is not mine. That dog is my best homies homey P-Doo. For the homies actually in my home click here, they won't sit still for pictures with me because they're asshats. (For the record... not even convinced that dog is a dog. Pretty sure it's a mechanical toy).
3. I am
4. I am an aspiring sometimes actual writer. Me like words good.
5. I am from California, Washington D.C., Mexico. I love muppets, Quentin Tarantino movies and garlic. I am the stuff of unicorn farts and nightmares.
6. I can make asparagus that will change your life and have really big knots in my hair. I cannot make humans. For the rundown on that, click here.
7. The above mentioned is allegedly the theme of this blog. Mostly, however, it is the ramblings of a mad woman.
8. I have been married
9. I am adopted. And yes, the depiction of adoptees in horror movies is absolutely accurate. I'm figuring out a way to crawl out of your computer screen in slo-mo right now.
10. If you want to, you can totes contact me. I was nice one time. I think it was a Tuesday.